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Home » Top 10 Jokes
» Stay ahead of the airplane
Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier. ...
Added on : 15-Nov-2004 Added by : Brad Rating : 4.84/5 (40 votes)
» The 30 Greatest Lies in Aviation
The 30 Greatest Lies in Aviation:1. I'm from the FAA and I'm here to help you.2. Me? I've never busted minimums.3. We will be on time, maybe even early.4. I have no interest in flying for the airlines.5. All that turbulence spoiled my ...
Added on : 15-Nov-2004 Added by : TerminalBob Rating : 4.84/5 (19 votes)
» Behind the Virgins
ATC to airplane: "Fraction 930 taxi to holding postion RWY 26. You are number 6 after the Virgins." Fraction 930: "I've never had to queue behind that many virgins before - never ever in my whole life!" ...
Added on : 18-Aug-2007 Added by : Squawkident Rating : 4.83/5 (6 votes)
» We have the localizer... sort of
ATC: N123, have you captured the localizer? N123: Negative..... but we have it surrounded! ...
Added on : 16-Jun-2009 Added by : Samuel Rares Rating : 4.83/5 (6 votes)
» Helicopter mode?!
On Lajes Air Base (Azores, Portugal, a formation of 6 portuguese Air Force FIAT G91 some miles away requested a runway overhead and the ATC (a woman) approved. The lady though that by time they arrive, i\'ll have all the traffic landed but things was not ...
Added on : 03-Dec-2008 Added by : Fabio Rocha Rating : 4.77/5 (22 votes)
» Santa loses an engine
Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived. In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his l ...
Added on : 15-Nov-2004 Added by : Jokemaster Rating : 4.76/5 (38 votes)
» Squawk list
"Squawks" are problems noted by pilots and left for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenance complaints logged by pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. (P) is the problem found by the pilot, (S) is th ...
Added on : 15-Nov-2004 Added by : A&Ptobe Rating : 4.72/5 (62 votes)
» Guess the airline this Flight Attendant works for...
A guy sitting at an airport bar in Calgary noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she is so gorgeous she must be a flight attendant. But which airline does she work for?" Hoping to gain her attention, he ...
Added on : 24-Aug-2008 Added by : YVR_Blondie Rating : 4.68/5 (63 votes)
» Your Intensions Please
ATC: "Cessna G-ABCD What are your intentions?" ...
Added on : 12-Jan-2005 Added by : cx409 Rating : 4.67/5 (15 votes)
» 1997 Darwin Award Winner!
You all know about the Darwin Award - It is an annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing himself in the most extraordinarily stupid way. The 1995 winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine that toppl ...
Added on : 20-Dec-2004 Added by : cx409 Rating : 4.65/5 (32 votes)

Picture of the Moment

Joke of the Moment
The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty--do a complete circle, a move normally used to provide spacing between aircraft.

The pilot of the 727 complained, "Don't you know it costs us two thousand dollars to m...

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